Heartbreak & Healing
What is Love?
How do we define it?
How do we heal from it?
How do we find it?
Love is one of the most important, yet most misunderstood emotions we experience.
For many of us love is something indescribable and unique…
It’s the flickering of the soul as it begins to ignite…
It’s the promise of forever that may never come…
However...
Studies show that your brain registers the emotional pain of heartbreak in the same way as physical pain, which is why you might feel like your heartbreak is causing actual physical hurt. Another study also found that acute emotional stress, positive or negative, can cause the left ventricle of the heart to be ‘stunned’ or paralyzed, causing heart attack-like symptoms including strong chest, arm or shoulder pains, shortness of breath, dizziness, loss of consciousness, nausea and vomiting.
So, how do we heal?
(from a DBT Approach)
Radical Acceptance- Radical acceptance is a complete acknowledgment of reality as it is in that precise moment. It means accepting that all of these painful situations or aspects happened or are currently happening. It means deciding to accept the facts of reality.
My heart is broken | and that’s okay
This is more painful than I could imagine | this level of heartbreak and pain is scary
Trust that this is temporary | and the pain will fade
Know that you will recover | for you are resilient and worthy of love
(from a CBT Approach)
ICYMI: CBT works by changing people's attitudes and their behavior by focusing on the thoughts, images, beliefs, and attitudes that are held (a person's cognitive processes) and how these processes relate to the way a person behaves, as a way of dealing with emotional problems. Monitor your Emotions - Experiencing sadness, anger, relief, guilt, shame, and anxiety around a relationship ending is normal and okay.
Practice:
Journaling your thoughts- Someone once told me that “2 AM is made for the poets, lovers, and writers. Visionaries, photographers, painters overthinkers, and silent seekers.” For me, these are the hours I wake up from the place in my mind where we’re still together.
Challenging Irrational thoughts:
TRY: “I can live without this person. There are definitely things I need in order to live, like air, food, and water. I do not need this person to stay alive. I had a life before them, during them and I’ll continue to live beyond them” INSTEAD OF: “I can’t live without this person. I need them in my life!”
TRY: “ My work, my family, my friends, and ___________ all bring meaning to my life.” INSTEAD OF: “life has lost all meaning”
TRY: “One failed relationship does not foreshadow future failed relationships. I am worthy and capable of love” INSTEAD OF: “I will walk the Earth alone for the rest of my life and I will never meet or love anyone else as great as my partner.”
Remember, you're just like the sun You will continue to rise. For it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.